AR10308 continues to prove to be a very valuable critic, and I appreciate it.
I think that this demonstrates that for most things mean to be widely consumed, being able to simplify for accessibility is the way to go. Granted, there is value in doing things that are hard, like Ranger School and SEAL training, however those are only meant for a select few. If having a good marriage required that level of focus and intensity at all times, there wouldn’t be hope for anyone.
I’m going to suggest that we’re often not understanding the depth of the problem. As Christians we must take into account that:
1) Marriage is a very serious business from the Christian man’s perspective, with serious rewards and consequences. It’s not merely about having poon-on-tap (although: be fruitful). To begin from that frame of reference is to lose sight of the inherent godliness of a Christian wife, and therefore lose sight of what we’re to be about as Christian husbands. Sex isn’t just something we do in the meantime. It’s part of our calling. Ask any husband currently being denied, and he’ll tell you he’s not only dealing with a physical hunger, but a spiritual one, as well. If we don’t agree with this, then Game (simplifying the accessibility) is what you want.
2) We shouldn’t gloss over the fact that when a Christian man chooses marriage (as he should if he burns with passion), then he is giving up most, if not all, of his effectiveness to the larger Kingdom of God. His focus must now be on his wife and family. We skip this point a lot, in our desire to fulfill our physical urges.
3) From the legal perspective: modern marriage is a pit-trap over Hell, covered over with the palm fronds of emotional imperative, dating around, and princess weddings.* Marriage is a must for the sexually aroused Christian, so he has to step out over that pit. Game seems to me–at best–a latticework that can be placed over the fronds. It can be of some use, but it has so many holes in it that, perversely, it seduces not only the woman (as is its intent), but also the man into thinking that he’s safe. What we want is a reliable, full, covering of the pit, to rescue us from that Hell.
4) The Christian marriage is also about bringing forth fruit; not only of the spiritual kind, but with a decided emphasis on the physical fruit of children, and rearing them until we give them back to Christ; as co-conspirators, not mere underlings. The married Christian must confront this. Imagine the conversation with your son, with whom you wish to be not only honest, but useful: “No, no, no. I’m not mad at your mother: I’m just Gaming her.”
I’m going to stop here, because I think that thinking through the problem from this perspective on my own was very helpful to me, and can be for others.
End Note: One of the things that was reinforced by writing this, was how much scripture has to say on the subject, and how thankful I am to my father (and my Father) for giving it to me. Thanks, Dad. There’s a lesson here about how to develop your frame.
*Dalrock and I seem to be singing from the same hymnal today. Not sure who’s the melody, and who is the harmony.