It Needs to be Personal

UPDATE: I hated the other title. It was a silly choice. 

I want to take a break from my TINP posts…my head’s in the wrong place for that topic.

Over at Dalrock’s place, empathologicalism asks a question:

Let ask it this way…..from where will numbers of red pill men come?

I honestly don’t know where, but I gather he’s more optimistic than I am. However; it did lead me back to thinking about how I started down this road. This isn’t about how I learned to interact with women, but how I became conscious I had diverged from the common emotional climate of society.

Depravity’s Child

Back when we were apartment dwellers, our PC was in the living room; on a wall perpendicular to the TV so that you couldn’t see it if you were looking at the monitor. Back then, way back in the poor and stupid days of the 90s, we had cable. At first, I watched copious amount of MTV. Even in those days, there were no music videos, but there were a whole bunch of girls in colorful bikinis; miniskirts, etc. When you’re 22, it can while the time. Over just a few months though, I began to hate them. Pretty soon, if I was watching TV I was watching Speedvision, or the Hitler Channel*, and I’d watched one too many Barrett-Jackson auctions (Go, Cobra, Go! WHAT??? Only $75,000? What a LOSER!)…and, “poof”‘, in four or five months of cable and I was done with TV again. Especially those teases on MTV.

I’m not sure what game I was playing–I’ve always been partial to shooters. I know I had headphones on–but Mrs. Caldo harkened from the couch.

“Aw, I love this video.”

(Man, I need a health pack soon.)

“Cane, have you seen this video?”

(I’m almost out of ammo, too.)

Can you see the little car parked on the tracks; it’s driver fidgeting with her radio? Can you hear the rumble of a Kansas-long freight train of MTV scorn, burdened by innumerable alien enemies, bearing down on ?

“Cane? Did you hear me.”

(…)

“Cane…”

It’s too late to stop; best blow the warning whistle.

“No, I don’t care.”

“Will you just look for a second please? She is so pret-“

I take of my headphones, and place them on the desk, turning towards the TV, and there’s Beyonce, shaking her ass. Somewhere in the background, my avatar suffers a grisly fate.

“-ty. See?”

My eyes were full of ass-shaking, and lust.

“Yeah. I would totally fuck the shit out of her. Is that what you want to hear? Because I would. Can I play my game now?”

Maul Shopping

By the time I was 20, I had developed a visceral reaction to the mall, and I avoided it whenever possible. For a long time, I couldn’t put it into words, but not long after the Depravity’s Child incident, I understood: It was the girls.

They come in all types, sizes, and ages, but they go to the mall in only two modes of dress: slob, or slut. The underdressed slobs elicit mild disgust, which only serves to set the stage. Their hair is tied in knots, over sweats, or stretchy pants; feet shod in flip-flops. Why in the world they still wear half-inch eyelashes and layers of make-up, I’ll never understand.

The sluts, though… Women don’t understand the primal forces they employ when they oppress the average man with carefully extruded and exposed flesh. One day I became aware that the feeling I had, the anger, was equivalent to my reaction to the Napoleon-Syndrome tyrants at school.

The tall boy in public school has a special little Hell: older smart-mouthed little runts. They run their mouths at the big guys who haven’t yet displayed physical dominance. Should the smart-mouthing fail to elicit a strong enough response, runts will escalate to posturing and pestering…while their friends gather around. The runt has nothing to lose: if he gets his ass whipped, it was expected, his friends and the bureaucracy will avenge him. If he wins, well, he’s mighty, isn’t he? The tall boy, of course, has the reverse situation: nothing to gain. Boys who fight in school get in trouble, period. It doesn’t matter who starts it: any display of aggression is met with mind-numbing re-education; in school suspension; removal from extracurricular activities; monologues…

Did I forget to mention that this is only true for the bigger boy?

This is my mall experience: hordes of stupid little 16 to 30-year old sluts taunting me; jerking at my johnson with their various states of disrobe, and there’s nothing I can do about it unless I want to deal with some severe repercussions. It’s the equivalent of bowling right into strangers with my 6’4″ frame; never apologizing; always oblivious. It’s their beastliness abusing my civility that angers me.

That moment of realization was when I changed from egalitarian to chauvinist. I wouldn’t encounter the idea of Red Pill until over a decade later, but the path led out from the mall.

It seems to me that no man’s experience was that one day his friend told him about Game, and his eyes opened; or that an Men’s Rights Activist left a pamphlet, and it affected someone who’d never thought about it. It must be personal.

*The History Channel. There was a time when is was 2/3 Hitler, 1/3 Rome.) This is before the Great TV Conflation of the 00’s when Remodeling-Cake-Truckers took over every station. But, really, there’s only so much about Hitler one can learn (SPOILER ALERT: he’s the villain.)

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9 thoughts on “It Needs to be Personal

  1. This is great.

    My own red-pill came before Mystery ever donned the fuzzy hat, when the internet still ran with telephone lines and 28.8k was blazing, and from, what must have been then though unbeknownst to me, a childish anarchist’s radio forum. Glass shattered. Unplugged.

  2. I know well the Big Boy vs Little Shit dynamic in school. I was the Big Boy.

    One day I finally lashed out in blind rage at the Little Shit after he grabbed my hat, that I reeled him back in by the shirt I tore and then kept him in a choke hold until he cried. Then I dumped his ass in the bus aisle.
    It is amazing what just one fierce display of physical dominance will do. After being challenged and picked on (because I was a Big, Nice Boy) for years, no one fucked with me again, at least on that bus. Thankfully, the bus driver either didn’t see it, or give a shit due.

    Zero Tolerance rules for fighting are Satan’s/Karl Marx’s work in order to give undue boldness to the weak of character to assail the strong.

    Reminds me very much of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs
    Notice the girls just watching on the side. I bet their vaginas were tingling for the Little Shit until he got driven into the ground.

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  4. Yes I asked that, in a context. Though I suppose I can see how you discerned I am somewhat optimistic, that guess is not quite correct. I have little , maybe no reason to be optimistic at all. From mega themed things like the election (and the conventions) to lesser things like church experience and church research and finally the trivial, my own anecdotes, I am left with little to be optimistic about.

    I don’t know if I’m different in this, but I like to try to change people who are deceived like the guy Dalrock quoted. I have them at work, among my friends, at church, and in my extended family. Over the years since I was force fed a red pill (which i have come to know is the highest conversion experience cause and even it has remarkably low efficacy) I have managed to create a couple of MRM types. Granted in one case there was some but of force feeding going on as well, in the form of the guys collapsing marriage.

    My point wasn’t optimism, and push to shove I may even be fatalistic about this. But I still try, even to the point of contacting and debating far flung preachers via their websites (mega churches in other cities etc etc). Honestly, I enjoy doing it regardless the outcome. Because in the process I have gained more and more insight into the issue specifically among the group I was talking about, I guess they could also be the “religious right”, the Christian traditional conservatives, etc.

    My whole beef about that is that there seems to be a subtle suggestion that it flows naturally from traditional Christian conservative values to be a supplicating white knight. I mean flows from the core doctrine, which would be the Bible in this case. But that’s just not true and you agree on that I am sure. So this demographic who at least SHOULD have ground under their feet that supports our views generally are deceived specifically BECAUSE of the encroachment of the other value set, the secular feminist friendly liberalism cum Marxism that more and more informs the public paradigm as the norm. (no, I’m not ranting “Obama is a socialist” or anything that pedestrian)

    If we wanted to focus on a group it would be better to focus on that group. A silly example close to home, its like we are blaming the people who caught West Nile virus instead of the mosquitoes that are spreading it. Once the victim clears the virus they have a strong immunity to it, I assert, same with the demographic that I am speaking about (but I’m not defending them in the sense that I am not saying they do not hold these infected views)

    The reason I am not optimistic is, back to the mega themes, the secular feminist liberalism is the driving force that is moving everything, all the other ideologies along with it. In physics we could call this momentum transfer, the manner in which it happens. The other demographic and this one is a sadder one is the lazy apathetic and ignorant, fat dumb happy so to speak who have no flipping idea what they believe or what anyone else does…..hence your other posts and the rise of Paris Hilton and Co. Secular liberalism is not just compatible with that ignorance and apathy, it creates it. That ignorance and apathy exists in both of the two pillar ideologies but its cozy on the left.

    Optimistic or not, consistently pointing to the infected while pretty much giving the carriers a pass is a mistake. But I suspect the younger the person the less they agree with what Im saying, which in a twisted way is blatant evidence that i am correct.

  5. Matthew 22:11 “But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. 12 And he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. 13 Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

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