A woman is not taught to be uppity; she is born wanting more and better. That’s the role women will naturally play in civilization. When they are at their best they provoke and beseech; at their worst they usurp, tempt, and nag. Either way, women are the living expression of the idea of upward mobility (more and better) and it’s (part) of what God intended women to be.
Now, let’s address some common lies that surround this need in women; this hypergamy. One of them I’ve already covered above: Hypergamy is a good thing, and it’s intended. If a man doesn’t feel like dealing with any hypergamous impulses then he doesn’t want anything to do with women. More for me and mine, then.
Another common lie is one that we see most often coming out of churches and other peoples who might describe themselves as “socially conservative”. It’s a perversion of women’s role of provocation and beseeching, and it goes something like this: “Women are a civilizing force on men.” This is wrong. Women are an impetus for men to express civilizing force. The force comes from men. Even when it comes from women, civilization is an inherently male expression of force; so children better do what Mama said and stop actin’-the-fool because one way or another she has access to Daddy’s belt.
We understand this when we examine why the presence of women provokes men to civilize things, or why mothers civilize their children’s behavior: We’re trying to make it–homes, streets, grocery stores, anywhere–safe, orderly, and pleasant, if not beautiful. Does Mama swat her kids because they made her? Only if she’s dysfunctional and abusive. They certainly provoked her, but they don’t make her. She’s doing it because somebody needs to make sure those kids know how to behave, succeed, and be useful to someone besides themselves. What does that tell us about women?
The big daddy lie of them all is that women must be encouraged to “be themselves”; to “reach for the stars”, and “live their dreams”.  It is repeated because it must be maintained in the face of all evidence to the contrary–which is ubiquitous–and that maintenance is necessary because it is a cover for the more fundamental lie that women aren’t like that. Oh yes, they are. We see it every day on every street, in nearly every song, and certainly in every advertisement.
It’s precisely the mechanism upon which the serpent in the Garden of Eden operated, and he attacks it in the same way. It insinuates that Eve is held back from something good, and that’s bad. She wants good, doesn’t she? And God makes good things; so whatever she wants must be good, and if she wants it to be good, then it is good for her, and in fact will make her better, won’t it? Keep in mind: At this point, the Fall has not happened, and we see hypergamy already in play; a hypergamy that God created and said was Good.
Notice what happens there: The serpent slips in the insinuation that it’s bad that she’s being kept back. If we were to make a list of “good” or “bad” word associations corresponding to the content of the conversation between Eve and the serpent it would look something like this:
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD bad GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
But one fly ruins the ointment; especially when that one fly says it’s ok to ignore what your Daddy told you if you feel like it’s holding you back and you really want it.
This is an expansion of a comment I made in my last post.
I doubt whether there has ever been born any woman who did not lean this way from the cradle.