So A Jew and an Assyrian Walk Into a Bar

Your king went forward with his plans to cooperate with the Assyrians because it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Now that error has come to fruition, and the Assyrians have taken control over Israel and Judea.

You’re a beat-down Jewish man living in Assyrian Israel. Every day you watch the troops of you occupier march by on their majestic destriers; with their fancy clothes, thick armor, and big muscles. More than once you’ve caught your wife looking at them. Sometimes she tries to hide it, but other times she just doesn’t care if you see her or not.

Yesterday, an Assyrian soldier was carousing around town with his friends, and his robe fell open; revealing himself. That was one of those moments you caught your wife biting her lip. You wonder to yourself: Besides armor, horses, fine clothes, a big ol’ swinging dick, and an army: What’s he got that I haven’t got?

You went to the Temple and sought advice from the rabbis, but they were busy convincing a group of curious invaders that they don’t have to change anything about themselves to become children of the Israelite God. They can stay as they are, live as they have as long as they keep their idolatry to a dull roar, and YHWH will accept them. He will make them profitable as long as they bring some riches to the temple like a good Jew. You don’t have much in the way of riches, and no way to go about getting them; especially with so many martial forces entrenched around you.

Sad and envious, you wander into the market to go about your work. Everywhere you look, you can see the men and women bustling around at their chores. You notice, whenever an Assyrian saunters by, the Jewish women giggle and titter to themselves; trading gossip on which Jewess has shupted the more Assyrians in her day.

You need a drink and some solace. You walk into a tavern and grab a drink. Sitting next to you is one of the occupiers. You recognize him as one of the Assyrians that the Yentas like to talk about. He’s not one of the masterminds of the invasions; he’s just a sergeant off-duty. He offers to buy you a drink.

Surprised, you accept, and a conversation begins. You get to talking and discover that he’s got a good sense of humor, and a quick tongue. You decide he’s not a bad sort of fellow for an occupier. Perhaps he can make sense of why Jewish women are so eager for guys like himself, and he agrees to tell you.

He says that they dig the power, and all the trappings that go with it: the horses, armor, and insignias–but most importantly the attitude; just the sheer belief that because you’re Assyrian your are destined to rule. Naturally the fact that they are occupiers is a big turn-on. There’s also the strangeness that goes with being foreign because women value novelty. Not to mention the fact that Assyrians do have bigger shvantzs than Jews.

You ask him how he found all this out, and he says, “Well, by shtupping a lot of Jewish daughters. Not your daughter perhaps, but a lot of them.”

As you leave, you thank him and his people for their occupation of Israel, and for revealing the truth to you by fucking all the Jewish women they can; even if they couldn’t yet make it to your own daughter. Now–with this new secret information–you set off to be the most Assyrian-looking Jew you can manage.

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25 thoughts on “So A Jew and an Assyrian Walk Into a Bar

  1. I’ll be honest. This tickles my dark sense of humor.

    It’s interesting to see where people whom I consider intelligent seem to be lacking in wisdom. They’re still intelligent, but they don’t seem to grasp the argument and I haven’t seen anyone actually say anything even close to addressing my concerns and beliefs, rather than just repeating, “It’s a tool, I can use it without being used!” or “I’m glad I see the truth!”

    People need to work more. The most simple tool in the world, so simple other tools can become one if necessary, is a hammer. If you use a hammer, your hand gets calloused.

    Why do so many people insist their soul won’t be harmed by using ‘mere’ tools (which I don’t even accept, but I’ve made the argument on Pride being the basis of ‘Game’ enough already), rather than going to God?

  2. So you’re saying that it would be immoral if this Jewish man should go out and lift weights and get some armor so that his wife will be more attracted to him? Both things being innocuous.

    Or are you saying that he needs to kill his wife and any other Jewish woman who has thought immorally about an Assyrian?

  3. The logical conclusion is, turn to the Law of God, then when there is sufficient mass of Lawful men, go Maccabee on the “Assyrians”. Then go Jehu on the internal traitors. Or vice versa.

    This won’t happen, of course. Christianity has defined itself in opposition to the Law of YHWH. Heaven help us, if you keep the Law, that is Jewish, and you’re going to Hell for doing what Jesus and all the other good men in the Bible did.

    I note Cane has remained silent on the issue of polygamy, divorce, and remarriage. Standard Christian teaching on these topics are major pieces to the puzzle of the emasculation of men, directly leading to Isaiah 3:12: women and little children will rule them.

    The Catholic mistress system is a perversion of Biblical law, but it is closer than the Protestant monogamy perversion. In Catholic countries that practice the mistress system, women are more feminine and men are more masculine.

    The Law isn’t all or nothing. The closer you come to it, the better life gets. The farther, the worse.

    Churchianity is lost; it defines itself based on a blasphemous Trinity god-man. Arian Christianity conquered the Roman Empire, but lost in the end because it wasn’t grounded in the Law.

    Every generation must work out its salvation with fear and trembling.

    I am troubled to hear that Cane isn’t keeping the 10 commandments. If not those, then how many other commands is he breaking? Perhaps he has been corrupted, as most Christians are, by the story of the “woman caught in adultery”, which was added to the Bible 300 years after Christ. That story causes righteous men and women to be so busy condemning themselves, they turn a blind eye to the real sin surrounding them.

    For evil to succeed, all it takes is for good men to think they too are evil, and thus, do nothing, for fear of being condemned.

    It is long past time the story of the women caught in adultery is recognized for the severe poison it is, and be stamped out. Let anyone who clings to this poison be anathema.

  4. The problem with the metaphor is Roissy hasn’t conquered anything. He’s figured out how to sneak in line as the modern young woman rides the carousel on her way to marriage. He is a scavenger, profiting from social destruction he didn’t create. If Roissy were in the story in the OP, he would be a non Assyrian foreigner who took the protagonist aside and asked with a smirk:

    Why are you so happy to have your wives and daughters shtup the Assyrians? You Jews have lost all self respect due to the foolishness of king Stanton, and as a result even a lowly outcast like me cleans up with your women. Can’t you see what is going on? Your women are whores, and you sit around raving like yentas about the husband in Fireproof. This state of affairs is to my own advantage, and yet even I can see that you are foolish for letting it stand.

    As a result of this unlikely non Assyrian foreigner having this conversation with a number of Jews, eventually the Jews find a place to meet to overthrow the invaders. After several such meetings the group starts to grow, and then someone suggests that overthrowing the Assyrians is too difficult, and besides the Jews have grown fond of the Assyrian ways. Is it really so bad? It would be much better to focus on that non Assyrian foreigner…

  5. Game is of the flesh….and the Word of God is of the Spirit. So there is a war between the two.

    The problem is the Spirit side for most men has been extinguished through the feminist brainwashing either of the secular side or the Christian pastors who want to make sure the dollars keep coming in so they tell the women and wives what their feminist ears want to hear and x out those nasty parts in the Bible where some old misogynist tells them they have to submit.

    So the combination of the betryal of men and the looseness of women…the only thing men are turning to is the flesh because it rewards them briefly in this world and gives them a false feeling that their spirit has returned. After having their masculine spirit extinguished…any win starts to feel good. Every player gets burnout though…you can’t live a life like that without becoming just as bombed out and depleted as a man who has had his spirit extinguished.

  6. @Dalrock

    The problem with the metaphor is Roissy hasn’t conquered anything. He’s figured out how to sneak in line as the modern young woman rides the carousel on her way to marriage. He is a scavenger, profiting from social destruction he didn’t create.

    If I wanted to write specifically about Roissy I would have. More to the point: The Assyrians didn’t conquer anything worth having! They too were profiting from social destruction they didn’t create.

    Of course, to see this you have to actually believe it.

    If Roissy were in the story in the OP, he would be a non Assyrian foreigner who took the protagonist aside and asked with a smirk

    First of all, you keep trying to redirect this about Roissy, but it’s not. Second, you are describing the actions of a devil, and they are of a team whether you like it or not.

    After several such meetings the group starts to grow, and then someone suggests that overthrowing the Assyrians is too difficult, and besides the Jews have grown fond of the Assyrian ways. Is it really so bad?

    If you accept any premise from the story, you have to accept that the Assyrians represent Feminism/Modernism/Scientism. Having clearly (if needlessly) demonstrated that devils are of a team, then the people you are describing here are pro-Game as a way to live; as a praxeology.

    It would be much better to focus on that non Assyrian foreigner…

    Again, you’re talking to ghosts in your head.

  7. @ar10308

    So you’re saying that it would be immoral if this Jewish man should go out and lift weights and get some armor so that his wife will be more attracted to him? Both things being innocuous.

    Is lifting weights going to make his wife less of a slut?

    What’s the goal here? Is it to be a good steward over property for the owner’s sake because you love the owner, or is it only to program a repeatable psychological response? Is it to win her over to your side for merely for your use, or because you think you’re on the right side, and because you have love and commitment for her and her Creator you are trying to redeem her?

    Or are you saying that he needs to kill his wife and any other Jewish woman who has thought immorally about an Assyrian?

    If only we’d been given another answer except to except execution of the Law, or accepting worldliness.

  8. I note, in your article, you said that divorce and remarriage and polygamy are sometimes wrong, and sometimes allowed. You left it up to the imagination what the specific circumstances would be, or how to find out what they are.

    The Law tells you when these things are and aren’t allowed. If you view the law as a handrail, an optional extra, something one can grasp as they wish… that is a weak basis for teaching right from wrong.

    Can I let go of the handrail and have a homosexual relationship? Why not? Why can’t I have gay sex, but a good Christian can eat pork? What is the difference?

    Without definite standards, you can’t speak authoritatively to anyone. Didn’t Christ give all his followers authority? If you don’t have it, you must not be following him.

    I recommend to you the Institutes of Biblical Law, by Rushdoony. He was the most significant theologian of the past 200 years. He founded the Home Schooling movement in the 1960’s.

    Roissy is a piker who comments on social decay and hints at its causes. Rushdoony ruthlessly exposed the causes of all modern ills from the Bible, but also showed in clear, uncertain terms the solution, the path forward. Rushdoony did this is an ACTIONABLE way, not in a vague, generic way. Founding the modern homeschooling movement was just the beginning of his mighty works in service of the Kingdom.

  9. @MJ

    I have a few of Rushdoony’s books. I don’t recall him saying the Trinity was a heresy.

    Without definite standards, you can’t speak authoritatively to anyone. Didn’t Christ give all his followers authority? If you don’t have it, you must not be following him.

    Did Christ give all authority to all followers over all men in all things? Another way of asking that is: Did Christ make us each God? Yet another is: If Christ give all of his followers all authority over all men about all things, then how does disagreement arise?

    This is man’s problem with the Law; that the Law told you about itself, that Jesus reconciled, and then the Epistles (especially Paul) expounded upon: The Law can only condemn, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

    It’s not about following the Law, but if you hold the Law dear you can know where you’re going. And if you follow Christ you are following the Law because He is the Word, and the Law is of Him.

  10. Yes, Rushdoony clung to the Trinity. Even a super-genius like him didn’t get everything right.

    Have you read his Institutes of Biblical Law?

    And yes, every disciple was given authority to reprove and correct his brethren. In fact, it is a sacred obligation. Am I my brothers keeper? God thinks so, since the time of Cain up to now.

    Disagreements arise when pride gets in the way of sharing facts and listening to each other. I have listened to you, I have read what you wrote. You pull your punches when it comes to specific, actionable advice. The Law is very specific and actionable. Furthermore, the Law is good and wise. Jesus didn’t change that.

    Teaching others to break the least commandment makes one least in the Kingdom of Heaven. What happens to those teach against the bigger commandments?

    And if the commandments are merely a handrail, can you even distinguish the small from the great? Many commands are not even explained.

  11. The New Testament says we will even judge angels, so how much more so should we be bold to judge the things of this world. Just judgement needs a standard to go by, or it is just arbitrary and divisive.

  12. @MJ

    You pull your punches when it comes to specific, actionable advice. The Law is very specific and actionable. Furthermore, the Law is good and wise. Jesus didn’t change that.

    Jesus didn’t speak against prudence, as you are here.

    You’ve derailed this thread long enough. Get on topic.

    @Dalrock

    I was too harsh earlier. When I said, “You’re talking to ghosts in your head”, I should have said, “You’re talking about people that are not me.”

  13. Sir Cedric: Delayed? How so?
    Wamba: Well, when I heard Normans were approaching I ran to lock up my wife. But, she’d also heard they were approaching, and locked me up instead.

    The above quotes are from the 1952 version of Ivanhoe. Lots of old movies,(1920s,1930s) have examples of cads with ‘game'( though I can’t define what that magic, esoteric knowledge is; but like obscenity, you know it when you see it.)

  14. oogenhand:
    Yeah. The only options are to add women to your harem or kill them.

    Good grief. Plenty of folks do seem to live inside their little hermetically sealed systems.

  15. Cane, can you delete that pingback? I accidentally hit “post” instead of “save” on something I was working on, so I’ve removed that post and the link goes nowhere.

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  17. @ Cane Caldo

    [quote] Is lifting weights going to make his wife less of a slut?

    What’s the goal here? Is it to be a good steward over property for the owner’s sake because you love the owner, or is it only to program a repeatable psychological response? Is it to win her over to your side for merely for your use, or because you think you’re on the right side, and because you have love and commitment for her and her Creator you are trying to redeem her? [/quote]

    False dichotomy. Spiritual and psychological well-being are two sides of a person. A wise person will not ignore needs of either. To me, this is like trying to warn against vitamin B6 because it takes up too much room in your stomach, saying that you should save your room for vitamin B12. Common sense says: consume enough of both.

  18. Reblogged this on Hipster Racist and commented:
    Never fall in love with a party girl. *Sigh*

    It’s my fault. I’m a handsome bad boy, a total cad, and I’ve had sex with 100 women.

    I dumped the first virgin I deflowered because she cheated on me, and I could do a lot better anyway. I dumped my second serious girlfriend – a slut – because she got bitchy, wouldn’t submit, work, or stop partying. She did cook for me though. Not well, but she tried, so I’ll give her that. Honestly, most of her appeal to me was that she was super hot and fucked like a champ. What can I say?

    The third I dumped for trivial reasons, I was kind of a dick about it, but she had done something relatively minor that made me question her character quite a bit.

    Then I fell in love with a crazy, insane, wacked out freak nightclub chick for reasons I still don’t fully comprehend. She dumped me the second I stopped screwing other women.

    Then I started having sex with college girls who have only gotten easier as time goes on.

    You gals are weird. You really should never have sex with guys like me, we’re trouble. Abusive, controlling, an angry drunk who gets off on violence against women. Is this really what you want?

    Evidentally, it is. Women Love Evil.

    It’s been a hell of a ride. Thanks ladies, come again!

  19. So you’re saying the tribes of Reuben, Simeon, Issachar, Zebulun, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Ephraim, and Manasseh were all Jewish?

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