Resettlement Chronicles VI: Timing Flies When You’re Having Fun

Author’s Note: Comment moderation is turned back off as while we remain dead to the city, we are yet now alive to the web.

Town living has awakened in me a bloodlust for bugs that is neither slaked by time, nor lessened by distance. Legions of flies have been crumpled by my deceptively light and cheery glamdring , and legions more writhe upon pasted strips. In the evening and under the eaves, with a lance of poisoned liquid I smote down two wasps’ nests ruins upon the ground.

At the second engagement, one foolhardy wasp  dared to meet me in single combat. Blinded by rage and Spectracide Wasp and Hornet Killer, he charged me. So fierce was his flight and so great his confidence that he foreswore his own lance and we literally went head to head. Piercing my windmilling arms of defense, he slipped under the bill of my Boston Red Sox helm, and rammed himself face first into my forehead. Upon impact, I let loose the warmaiden’s cry and pummeled myself in the face; dislodging both my headgear and my pride in the process.

But that bug is deader’n a doorknob now.

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15 thoughts on “Resettlement Chronicles VI: Timing Flies When You’re Having Fun

  1. Should you desire to take your wasp killing to a new level, especially if you have or suspect a wasps nest hidden in bushes, etc, you can use Carpenter Ant and Termite poison. Double check the label, but my bottle of Bayer Carpenter Ant and Termite Killer lists wasps as one of the critters it will kill. We found out about this secondary use when we first moved into our house. It had been vacant and there were mud daubers nested on a wall that was covered with ivy. I asked the good folks at Home Depot for something I could spray with a hose sprayer. We soaked it with the hose sprayer and the mud daubers fell down dead. Just be careful if you use it, because it is nasty stuff. You’ll want to shower and wash your clothes as soon as you finish applying it. I would also use it after dusk in case some of the wasps get ticked before they get dead (but I haven’t had that problem).

  2. Upon impact, I let loose the warmaiden’s cry and pummeled myself in the face; dislodging both my headgear and my pride in the process.

    LOL.

  3. Oh, dear. May I suggest a paint stirrer from Home Depot? They are perfectly formed for smacking flying stinging things and their nests out of orbit, so you can stomp them. And a Martin house, maybe. Dalrock’s Mud Dauber Apocalypse has “anaphylactic episode” written all over it.

  4. “Legions of flies have been crumpled by my deceptively light and cheery glamdring…”
    Ha! Does Fly-Hammer glow when near any flying insects, or just common house-flies? Also, all these posts are entertaining for a blog that’s on “down-time.”

  5. I also am a bug slayer. It is a position I was “promoted” into as a secondary effect of being a husband. Though, despite being anti-bug myself I take shameless delight out of showing my. Screaming wife the kill …when they don’t sneak up on me and I embarrass myself. Speaking of which I need to spray for the year. We have annoying tunneling spiders that are starting to invade.

  6. @Kilrud

    Does Fly-Hammer glow

    When I swing it with meteoric speed, yes.

    Also, all these posts are entertaining for a blog that’s on “down-time.”

    I am glad, thank you. Short and embellished versions of mundane stories are easy for me to produce. They cannot be very useful for anything but entertainment, so I am glad that is working.

    Though, I do think there’s a smidgen of help in the idea that a humdrum move to a small town is only one foreshortened glance or one elongated view from an interesting existence. Perspective matters.

  7. Cane, you might enjoy AC’s recent post on his doings with a nest of wasps on his property:

    http://adaptivecurmudgeon.wordpress.com/2014/06/26/wasp-habitat/

    As for me, I’m hysterically, irrationally phobic of wasps and hornets due to an unfortunate stinging incident when I was three; I’m always in awe of the casual, slightly-bored demeanor my husband has when he smacks them with a rolled up magazine, given that I’m usually hyper-ventilating if there’s a wasp in the house.

  8. Cane,

    No need to follow up. I figured it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Since taking the redpill a couple of weeks ago, I’ve given it to the Mrs. anytime I’ve wanted and making up for a few lost weeks (more like 19 years)!

    The only thing I’ve really done is gone back to the way I was before we were married…. Lol.

    I was not a believer, and when a date wouldn’t put out I moved on… Next. All I did is adopt that mindset again. It took me a couple of weeks and I am refining to the 42 yr old that I am, but I am reading her body language, and making flirting sarcasm and she is eating it up!!!!

    She’s invited me to shower, given me a blow job and last night she initiated as I somewhat responded with some quirk. After the quirk and some moments went by she was almost like the exorcist girl, bucking and the only thing I touched on her was her thigh!

    I swung way too Alpha (or corny jokes) at first, but she’s loved being put in her place although she’s sighed and snorted (I just ignore that).

    I can’t say I was Don Juan in my younger years, but I instictively knew most of what’s on here. Thank you for your site. I look forward to future articles and making sure my wife gets a steady diet of what she’s been wanting for years, and was attracted to in the first place! I know it’s not a destination, but a journey.

  9. @themud

    That’s awesome.

    I was not a believer, and when a date wouldn’t put out I moved on… Next. All I did is adopt that mindset again. It took me a couple of weeks and I am refining to the 42 yr old that I am, but I am reading her body language, and making flirting sarcasm and she is eating it up!!!!

    You got it. The difference is that instead of moving on from one woman to the next, you move from one encounter to the next with the same woman. You don’t let her deter you, or let yourself be ruled by hurt feelings and pride.

  10. BTW, I’ve been watching Justified. The series as a whole is vastly better than the pilot which was pretty bad.

  11. Just a brief bug fact. Mud daubers rarely if ever sting. They make their living finding spiders to stuff into the mud tubes. So if you have a thing against spiders, keep the daubers.
    Bald faced hornets are best if kept in the neighbors yard two houses down. Hornets eat flies and other insects, and will keep a 100 yard radius around the nest bug free. They don’t bother you if you stay away from the nest.
    FWIW

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