4 “If you meet your enemy’s ox or his donkey going astray, you shall bring it back to him. 5 If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying down under its burden, you shall refrain from leaving him with it; you shall rescue it with him.
Women love a new lifestyle fad. One after the other books and programs are produced, and one after the other women buy them. They talk about them to each other. They extoll the life-changing greatness of them. They praise them to everyone until the next one comes out. Then the new edition of brain-candy measurements, pledges, and securities are added to the sweet-tooth jumble already in their heads and hearts.
- P90
- P90-X
- P90-XXXtreeeeeeeeeeeeeme
- Insanity
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Cardio-kickboxing
- Vegetarian diets
- Pescetarian diets
- The South Beach Diet
- The Paleo diet
- Organic diets
- Vegan diets
- Gluten-free diets
- Fat detox
- Cleansings
- Colon cleansings
- Impurity purging
- Closet purging
- Organization projects
- …
I keep this in mind whenever women comment on my blog because the chances are that I am a passing spiritual fad. Because of this phenomenon, I limit myself to the idea that this is a table that I set for current and future husbands and fathers. Women may eat what falls from here. They may even enjoy it. I hope they do, and words to that effect are most welcome. Some of them come around regularly, and I do my best to accidentally-on-purpose knock some of the good stuff onto the floor.
The trouble starts (and it always does) when some poor beggaress starts criticizing what I’m serving, how I’m serving it, and to whom it is served. “Hey!”, they say, “Yesterday’s food was better. Today I do not like to eat these scraps. This one is too salty! Make me my preferred dish. Where is the sugar? And while I’m giving you a piece of my mind: I don’t like being served on the floor, either! Make room for me at your table!” Which is all wrong; least of which because she is flighty and rude. If she wants food that is served from the table, then her father or husband must come and be seated. She should go and tell him. Then he can serve her food that was not on the floor, and give it to her salted the way she likes.
But her flightiness and rudeness is her authority’s problem; not mine. My problems are:
- Her authority ain’t around, wouldn’t like me if he was, and has been serving crap so that she is in the habit of eating without satisfaction. Now she is fat with ignorance, and weighed down by fads.
- Either that weight’s got to come off, or I have to prompt some adrenaline for a flight-or-fight response because I have a responsibility to send this donkey back home, undo some baggage, or at least get her moving along with her burden.
I know and appreciate that a lot of women read here; probably more than men. The thing is: I have set this apart for men. If I can help I will give. But if you want to criticize then, lady, I have the program to get that ass moving!
Things that We have Heard and Known 
In general, women flock to blogs with a strong masculine presence, especially in the conviction of your writing either true or false.
Men have to reach a certain place before they believe the truth of what you say rather than of the conviction of your words.
I think at some point any blog for men will tend to have more women than men on it unless they are purposefully kept out. Much like the male space phenomena in real life.
Diets fitness fads…..and flipping measles parties.
Men have to reach a certain place before they believe the truth of what you say rather than of the conviction of your words.
Well, Im at that place…..see me…..down here, in that place. I still dont believe the truth of every Cane written word I hang on.
just bein ornery
This should go over like a lead zeppelin.
Interestingly, my wife is very health-oriented, to the point that she believes much that she shouldn’t. It’s only after I painstakingly walk her through each new fad to expose flaws that she can see any shortcomings. Although she’ll brag to others how smart I am and even state that that is one of the things that attracted her to me, she cannot believe what I say without a slow grinding down of her opinions. This even after she admits that she is uneducated in a particular area and a regular admission about herself that she finds it “hard to understand things.” I view these challenges as a fitness test of sorts.
The husband of a close friend of hers is one that she holds in some contempt, as he holds no steady job, choosing instead to rely on multi-level marketing “businesses” that leave the family in need (church friends frequently give the family food and other help – what he calls “God’s provision.” We have ceased providing much help after years of this situation.) Despite the husband’s long-term flakiness and the fact that my wife looks down on him, his background as a seller of herbal products via a multi-level distributor has made him an expert in her eyes for natural approaches to health. While I can appreciate the benefits of some herbal approaches, when he evaluated her herbal needs while waving bottles of herbs into her “aura” and testing muscle response by pushing down on her outstretched arms, I just shook my head and laughed.
The larger comments about women readers and their comments is spot on. Many women (and men for that matter) think that their thoughts and opinions DESERVE TO BE HEARD and that others are obligated to receive them with respect and deference no matter how balmy or uneducated those opinions might be. I am often aghast at how many self-described Christians toss about Bible verses willy-nilly with no regard for context or intent. And when confronted with it, double down on the ignorance. There’s a reason the Scriptures encourage that not many of us should be teachers.
@DS
I think its more the topics, emotion, and wanting to steer the conversation towards self-flattery; a sort of like a collaborative horoscope-reading session. Strong, masculine fishing reports would be permanently set to “Ignore”.
@Empath
Why, I oughta…
@KPP
Been there.
Fitness test isn’t a totally wrong symbol, but the concept of her worrying that I’m fit to be followed is a kind of gilding the silly. The truth is what are called fitness tests generally increase not at failure, but after success has been boringly established. Even if lizard-brains were real (and therefore fitness tests were lizard-brain thinking) this wouldn’t make sense. I think they’re just confused, stubborn, and headstrong.
“I think they’re just confused, stubborn, and headstrong.”
There you go thinking traditionally again.
But calling them fitness tests, with a biological functioning source outside of her control is so much more hip than calling them actions flowing from a sinful heart that must be confessed and brought under the lordship of Christ, no?
Your point is well-taken. Thanks.
@Cane,
You stated in response to my comment on the previous post the following:
“One of the main points I gather from your story is how important it is for men to set the standards, and how lousy women are at it.”
My father was blatantly unfaithful to my mother on many occasions, and finally he filed for divorce in order to marry the woman with whom he had broken his marriage vows. My mother broke down over the fact that she was divorced, and never fully recovered. I believe with good reason that her extreme control tactics were the result of an attempt to bury reality in her mind and try to exert some control over some aspect of her life, instead of simply building a different life with a different paradigm. I think this will shed a little light on your interpretation, which was erroneous, but I of course hadn’t given you sufficient information for you to make a more informed interpretation.
Thank you, also, for this post, very succinct and tactful. I am sorry you believe us to not have anything of value to add to anything. We can all agree that Pancake Loach’s words were completely unbecoming for any lady, and regardless of anyone’s opinion, such language is unacceptable for a civilized person of any good breeding (her entire blog is offensive with its unladylike rudeness). But you have certainly dished it out as well here.
Thank you for allowing me to present what contributions you did, and all the best with your blog. For the record, the man in my life spends his spare time taking his children to church, music lessons and sports, plus organizes many of the 40 Days for Life activities for the KofC chapter at church, in addition to reading aloud to us all from various books in the evenings and leading the family Rosary. He rarely frequents blogs. Since I am the freelance writer, I tend to be the one frequenting blogs — hence a reason why ladies may be the ones most often reading.
One more note — you had mentioned that you were glad to be able to support my husband’s choices in the discussion on dress. Actually, my husband has very few opinions on that subject, as I have often asked what he’d like me to wear, and he says to go ahead and wear what I like. Having been raised to dress modestly, I do so of my own free will. The only time he really intervened was when my daughter and I were having a difference of opinion on a dress pattern (her friends tend to dress more casually at church, and I was insisting on a “good” dress for church). She wanted to dress like them. He intervened and told her, “Your mother made you the good dress for church, and you are to obey your mother and wear it.” So he backs me up when I have to insist on the good clothes, the stockings and the nice shoes, plus the boys wearing ties.
P.S. My husband has no problem with long pants or jeans on either me or my daughter, but he knows I’m uncomfortable in them because I didn’t grow up wearing them. So he leaves that to me. I do wear culottes when pants might be considered a more appropriate option, as do my daughters. He doesn’t demand that we wear clothing we feel uncomfortable in.
@MitS
Do you believe this post is directed at you? It is not. I have nothing but good to say about you, and had no argument about what you have written until these comments. When I encouraged you in the wisdom of your decision to retreat it was not a rebuke. This post is, in fact, to encourage other women to be more like you.
I’ll say more later.
I understand, and no, I did not believe it was directed at me. And I thank you, but I was taken aback by the attitude, which is rankling, especially when laced with the language selected — as I mentioned before, Pancake Loach filled her blog with words laced with venom against all who disagreed. I have been the subject of frequent epithets in my life — as you may know from other blogs on which I posted, I am unhappily familiar with alcoholism and the choice vocabulary that frequently comes from this problem. Those who seek to counter the culture should select vocabulary carefully….now this is my opinion, and I do not seek to dictate how others should speak (I was accused of that once before, and I don’t wish to be misunderstood). I have permanently discontinued friendships and relationships due to the words selected by the other party. Maybe others aren’t as hypersensitive to this as I am, but this is just my opinion and should be construed as such, not as a dictating of how others should believe or act.
@MitS
It’s unlikely. Unless a woman is either Elspeth or Sunshine Thiry, or unless someone sends me a link to a woman’s blog, I stay away from the writings of women. I do so for their sake because I do not belong, and because I am a bruiser even when I try not to be.
I have been told that (across the Internet) I am angry and arrogant, but I find that it comes from people who are introverted. Such have difficulty to imagine themselves laughing out loud at the wrongness and stupidity of how we live. My father maintains that I am less than right in the head, as pain makes me laugh. I promise you that I enjoy pain not at all, but the idea that any of us should be in pain is ridiculous to me. I’ve been the recipient of five surgeries (that I recall); each funnier than the last. Why should things go wrong with me, and how did it come to be that the way of healing is by paying a fellow to carve upon and within my flesh? How that is not funny?
The habit of introverts is to imagine others as reflections of themselves, and it is not the habit of extroverts to blog or comment. So it is difficult for others to imagine me bold and joyful instead of merely angry and arrogant.
My kind in film:
One of my favorite renditions of “A Christmas Carol”. Thank you for the video.
You are always welcome to read my blog should you choose to do so.
@Mom in the Shoe, I saw you wondering where to get nice looking modest clothing for your daughters. I suggest some South Asian (Indian) stores or websites. Salwar-kameez, punjabi suits, saris, Indian long skirts paired with kurti tops are all very attractive and modest. They can be simple and casual or elaborate wedding attire, depending. All look best when fitted by a tailor to each individual.
The women in my own family were turned on to this way of dressing when we lived in Silicon Valley where there is a high population of H1B visa residents and the surrounding area is filled with Indian stores, restaurants and culture. I have to say its extremely beautiful.
One of my college professors was a lady from Sri Lanka who wore her traditional dress all the time. She was such a gracious, elegant lady. She taught us in evenings and taught little kindergarteners during the day; two of my nephews were in her kindergarten class and they were in awe of her. She commanded respect from them, only had to raise her eyebrows and they would all freeze if they were doing something wrong. The little ones adored her and we had the highest regard for her.
While the styles you mentioned I have investigated and they are not quite to my own taste, they may be just what my daughter might like. Thank you for the suggestion and I’ll give them a second look.
Pingback: New comment policy | Dalrock
Pingback: J. Lee Grady–Capturer of weak women – Moose Norseman