In Dalrock’s post “A god we must obey” he wrote:
Pastors Dave Wilson and Dr. R. Albert Mohler Jr. both teach that a wife’s sexual attraction (or lack thereof) to her husband is a signal from God regarding her husband’s righteousness.
Another form of [the message of is the idea that a woman’s sexual/romantic desires are sanctifying. Drs Mohler and Moore teach that the romantic feelings of the wife (instead of the commitment of marriage) are needed to purify sex. Without the wife providing the purifying cover of her romantic desire, married sex becomes dirty, merely rubbing body parts together. Former CBMW president Owen Strachan had something similar in mind when he described God honoring romance. All of this of course goes back just over a thousand years to the idea of courtly love, which CS lewis describes as:
The sentiment, of course, is love, but love of a highly specialized sort, whose characteristics may be enumerated as Humility, Courtesy, Adultery, and the Religion of Love. The lover is always abject. Obedience to his lady’s lightest wish, however whimsical, and silent acquiescence in her rebukes, however unjust, are the only virtues he dares to claim.
Great stuff. Dalrock’s absolutely right. I added this comment:
I’ve twice now listened to a Modern Scholar’s audiobook “Masterpieces of Medieval Literature”, and the author (Timothy Shutt) speaks extensively on the rise of courtly love; referencing C.S. Lewis’ book several times.
But he also goes back one step further, which I found very compelling. He says the fuse was lit by St. Francis of Assisi, who promoted a new affective style of Christian worship. According to Shutt, St. Francis created the first creche (Nativity) and emphasized emoting over the motifs of Baby Jesus, and Mary as the mother of an infant. This emphasis opened the door to a feelings-based style of worship, and transmuted the idea from love-as-obedience to love-as-warm-feelings. He says this permeated the whole of European Christianity, including and especially Christian concepts of marriage and romance.
Every time I think about how emotionalism has overrun the church, I think about this video… You have to see it to believe it. Don’t miss the appropriated lyrics. As an effort of pseudo-Christianity it gets high marks in several categories: lazy, disturbing, and bullshit. In a word: relevant.
Check out the face of the girl at the 3:37 mark. She doesn’t know how to behave.
 I think I saw this years ago at Michael Spencer’s Internet Monk, before he died.