Cane’s First Law of Female Attraction

This past weekend I was reminded that I still have not posted the basic concept which I am about to write, but which I have stated over and over since my first (guest) post in the Men’s Sphere. It also prompted me to come up with the category Economy of Respect . I’ll call it “Cane’s First Law of Female Attraction”.

Women are attracted to men who are respected by others; especially other men.

Some of you introverts may be skeptical so here’s a dead-common real-world example. The quarterback has a girlfriend because he’s the quarterback of the football team. Without the team he’s still talented, athletic, and so forth…but he’s not nearly as popular. It greatly matters that he is the leader of a team of men. But even better: Fat white lineman have girlfriends, too.

Everything else–looks, money, power, etc.–does its real work by gaining the respect of men. The women follow that. So:

  • If you want to find a woman: Get friends who respect you, and be seen with them by women.
  • If you want to help a man find a woman: Be a respectful friend to him, and be seen doing it.
  • Single woman: Look for groups of respectable men. You will be attracted to most of them. Give an eligible one your number.
  • Married woman: Encourage your husband to spend time with his friends. I bet you get jealous.
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14 thoughts on “Cane’s First Law of Female Attraction

  1. This is the Status factor in my LAMPS model.

    And those are all solid pieces of advice. In fact, one additional bit: build up other men who are married. Be respectful to him in front of his wife, and speak respectfully of him in front of her. It will only help him and his marriage.

  2. I agree.

    That is why so many churches are working against things when they attempt to “hold men accountable” and end up tearing down respect.

    Worth thinking about and then widely communicating this concept!

  3. I believe Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem concerning male dignity. Too often these days we talk about women’s dignity, yet amazingly we fail to notice that men are in need of supportive gestures helping fellow men display their dignity.

    To this end, I council my sons to dress well, refrain from the use of foul language in public and never put women on a pedestal. (except for the Queen of Heaven of course)

  4. @DG

    This is the Status factor in my LAMPS model

    It’s my observation that LAM[1]–combined–contributes half or less in a woman’s calculations. And the thing about S is that it’s out of one’s direct control. A man can work out, get a second job, and get his nose straightened at his own will, but status is bestowed by others.

    [1] Power is a derivative; it’s “applied status”, or “applied money”, etc.

  5. Sorry Cane they get just as lubed up over a drug dealer no one respects

    It’s about status. The fat lineman has status, power etc, the quater back has respect of other high status men and is in the spot light, adding to his status

    Some dweeb having the respect of other dweebs ain’t going to see any dividends from it.

  6. Ton and his 2000lb truth bombs. This just about has to be right. If she doesn’t see the praise giver as a benchmark, she is unlikely to be swayed by what he is saying about another man.

    But could it hurt? There’s something to be said for the effectiveness over time of a water drip. Would it eventually raise the man’s status to be continuously praised in a genuine fashion (even if by lower status men) as opposed to damned with faint praise, which is what is usually handed out?

    I expect we’ll never find out.

  7. I would still assert that the nerd praised by other nerds is better than a nerd who has no one who praises him.

    Everything is relative.

  8. While we were getting dressed for work this morning, I noticed that my wife was wearing a dress with a spaghetti top which revealed the back of her bra in its full glory. Instinctively, I told her, “Surely you’d be wearing a cardigan with that.”

    Her response? “What do you think? Of course, I’d do that.”

    I sighed in my heart.

    Women are indeed economical in their respect for their husbands. It’s something I’ve been learning the hard way when living with a woman.

  9. @SFC Ton

    Sorry Cane they get just as lubed up over a drug dealer no one respects

    You’ve misunderstood the terms. Drug dealers, though not respectable, can be respected.

    It’s about status. The fat lineman has status, power etc, the quater back has respect of other high status men and is in the spot light, adding to his status

    That’s what I said. However; the lineman’s power is only respected by women because other men respect it.

    @LP & Billy

    Would it eventually raise the man’s status to be continuously praised in a genuine fashion

    &

    I would still assert that the nerd praised by other nerds is better than a nerd who has no one who praises him.

    Yes, exactly.

  10. Pingback: To Hit Attraction Class 0 | Things that We have Heard and Known

  11. Naw Cane women get all drippy over displays of raw masculine power like displayed by linemen when they physically dominate other powerful men.

    Those sort of overt displays of power are tingle goldmines, women being to limited to understand more subtle displays of power

  12. Hey SFC Ton, in the Bible the word “Respect” can also be translated to “Fear.” The Greek word is “phobos” from which we get “phobia.” So, Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects (Greek “phobetai”) her husband.” So, when someone demonstrates fear of a lineman or raging drug dealer, they are showing respect for that person. Displays of power by a man helps other people respect that man. And that respect often issues forth from women in a liquid form.

  13. Cane, you misunderstand my Power factor. It is short for Masculine Power- that is, masculine behaviors and Personality. Use Personality if it suits you better.

    Money is really just a subset of Status. After all, it is an external factor.

    Looks and Athleticism are much less important, true. I’ve always argued that. It comes down to Status and Masculinity most of all.

  14. @DG

    Cane, you misunderstand my Power factor. It is short for Masculine Power- that is, masculine behaviors and Personality. Use Personality if it suits you better.

    Gotcha. Personality does make more sense.

    @SFC Ton

    There’s a reason why soap operas and other media that targets females isn’t populated by former wrestlers and NFL players. If women really responded directly to displays of “raw masculine power”, then every year People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” would be an MMA star, or Strongman winner.

    Drug dealers…that could actually happen. White drug dealers tend to be lanky dudes who can pull favors and get ins. That’s way more attractive to white women. It is also a massive demonstration of respect…right up until he gets busted.

    @Jeremy

    Well said.

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