Fakeball

In response to my very short post about a female kicker here in Texas, stickdude90 yawned:

Let me know when one starts playing linebacker.

That’s because stickdude90 is a man, and so like the great majority of us he believes in the reality of things; even the reality of sports. What’s more is that he is correct: Football is real, and football is dangerous for women to play.

But what will happen is that the rules of football will be changed. No one will be allowed to play football anymore. In its place will be a new sport with rules that make it safe for women. We’ll call that new sport football and pretend that reality is whatever suits our whims, but some day the game will be different in important ways.

Whoops. Too late.

12 thoughts on “Fakeball

  1. Exactly. And Proud Dads will be the driving force for change.

    In the previous post Proud Dad extols his daughter for her hard (apparently illegal) hit on a boy, and “taking him to the ground”. Sooner or later even linebacker daughter will be subject to the laws of physics and chemistry, and will be handled rudely by some boy or boys on the playing field.

    Proud Dads will rise up and change the game so tough daughters can continue to LARP.

  2. I always feel sorry for the kids used as pawns in these sorts of stories.

    The main reason is that I know that barring a miracle I am going to have to stop feeling sorry for them eventually and start treating them as the problem one day, and in this case sooner rather than later.

  3. And it will all be worth it as long as we can stop football coaches from giving locker room speeches referring to the players “boys” or “guys”.

    The knock on effect is that over time sports like football will lose their cache as ways for young men to demonstrate their strength and masculinity (along with the military). This is inevitable because the whole point of cramming women in is to mark the space as feminine.

    At the same time, this inflames the arms race for feminist fathers. Right now it is standard fare for a fictional protagonist father to have a daughter that is “sporty”, but still pretty and not entirely mannish. Bosch and the Death Wish remake come to mind. This father has upped the stakes, and now his peers will have to push their daughters into ever more masculine sports. It will be interesting to watch how far, and how fast, this moves the careful balance of “one of the guys who is still pretty and desired by the guys”.

  4. It’s a lot easier to tell them no if you make it about the bigger picture. I have instructed my daughters not to date or consort with black men, not because I have anything against a black man trying to earn a living but because it’s pure shortsighted selfishness (not to mention rebellion); it’s only all about you and your feelings right now and not future generations. Your rootless, deracinated children will curse you for denying them an identity.

    Same principle for Fakeball Chick; it’s about her. If she doesn’t have a clue about her deleterious effects on the team then she’s naive. If she does have a clue then she’s evil. Heads-Down Tackle Dad has failed in his duty to teach these things to his little princess and to enforce them on her.

  5. This is inevitable because the whole point of cramming women in is to mark the space as feminine.

    Right. It’s intrinsically self-defeating. The only way to be “the first girl to do X” is to find untrod ground. If football becomes a thing for everyone, then it loses its appeal for the girls, who can’t otherwise distinguish themselves in that forum.

  6. @Caspar

    It’s a lot easier to tell them no if you make it about the bigger picture.

    Easier for us fathers? Agreed.

    Easier for daughters? When daughters want something, the bigger picture can go to hell.

  7. @Cane

    To be more complete, I’ve told them that a) they will never be as free as they are now in my house; b) I expect to support them until they get married. In return I expect that they 1) remain chaste and tattoo-free, 2) keep their hair long, 3) avoid consorting with black men. I also have a dress code rule in my house: sleeves (no tank tops, sleeveless dresses, etc.). This is partly a personal aesthetic preference but extremely valuable as a simple and reasonable but enforceable boundary. It’s not a matter of pounding my fist and demanding arbitrary compliance.

  8. While we’re on the subject… I’ve often wondered why football gets the lion’s share of coverage when it comes to concussions, even though, statistically, a soccer player is more likely to sustain one. Is it because football is seen as more masculine and must be torn down, or is it because nobody (in this country) really cares about soccer?

  9. It’s cool. You are correct; daughters are going to do what they are going to do (I see it, too), but it’s possible to provide training and incentives to increase the likelihood of desired results.

  10. Football is real, and football is dangerous for women to play.

    As if to underscore clueless female solipsism, it should be OBVIOUS to even the densest woman alive that if massive, burly, muscular MEN are suffering horrendous, life-threatening injuries and concussions on the field, then no woman has a chance of surviving such an injury without suffering permanent, crippling damage or even death. They CAN’T possibly be THAT stupid.

    But what will happen is that the rules of football will be changed. No one will be allowed to play football anymore. In its place will be a new sport with rules that make it safe for women. We’ll call that new sport football and pretend that reality is whatever suits our whims, but some day the game will be different in important ways.

    Exactly. This is what these clueless, solipsistic little princesses and their cucked beta daddies are counting on. Fagball will replace football, at the point of a government gun.

    Picture the day in the very near future when all the major NFL stadiums are empty on a Sunday afternoon as opposing teams of girls and trannies slap each other on the field, while several dozen miles away at the same time, in a small field in the middle of a forest, a large crowd gathers to watch REAL MEN play what is now outlaw football.

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