A Preface to the Discussion on Whores

The Bible tells us that our conduct will speak for us and for Christ as we make our way through this time of exile in the world before our Lord returns. We can either honor Christ and ourselves with our conduct, or bring both into disrepute.

Last week I saw a retweet from someone in California of a guy who looked like someone from around where I live. So I followed the original tweet to its owner to see if in fact he did live in Texas. I didn’t find out, but I did see his tweet was also retweeted by some young woman not only in Texas, but in the town where I live. Small world and so forth. That young woman had in her Twitter feed an exhortation to herself that Jesus was looking out for her. So far so good, you may think.

As you know, newest tweets are at the top and you have to scroll down to go back in time, as it were. Long story short, about four hours before she tweeted about Jesus, she had tweeted, “I miss being choked at night.” My hope is that there is no connection intended.

I can hear your wheels spin from here. “Oh, she’s not a real Christian.”, your mind ejects. Whew! That was a close one. Now you can go back to pretending girls like that don’t know really know Christ is the son of God, born of the virgin Mary, and was crucified for our sins and raised on the third day. Right? Therefore she’s not a girl from your church who went off to college to learn a career and “find herself”. Shhh… Be at ease, sleeper…

The next day I went into work and heard this conversation between three college-aged coworkers:

Senior Cody: …and just say to her, Look, you swiped right, I swiped right. We both know what this is about. Let’s get it on!

Underclassmen: Hahahaha! Right! Exactly! What else could she be thinking?

Cody: And, hey, listen…listen…if she’s got a Bible quote on her profile then definitely go for it because you know she’s a ho!

Maybe your daughter isn’t one of these two women. Maybe she’s just one of her hundreds of co-eds, roommates, coworkers, social media followers, church group buddies, and BFFs.

23 thoughts on “A Preface to the Discussion on Whores

  1. So, I will guess that the next “discussion of whores” will be about how Christian women are bigger whores than non-Christians… which is something people have suspected for (at least) the past 60 years. I hope you’ll examine the question of why this is so.

  2. I knew a marine who served in Korea. He said that the Buddhists looked down on the Christians there. Because everyone looked down on prostitutes, but the Christians accepted them, so the prostitutes all went to church and wore crosses and called themselves Christian.

  3. The weird thing to me is the lack of shame,not guilt, shame.

    We’re all sinners and people have problems, and sins against temperance are the most sympathetic typically, even if they are destructive, sometimes terminally so. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not justifying anything. Christians are still human, so the idea of Christians failing really shouldn’t be surprising.

    It’s the public nature of some of this that I find most shocking. Over time, I worked with ladies who were church going, but were also reasonably open about extramarital activity, cohabitation, etc. It’s weird. It’s the openness that struck me more than anything else. One of these ladies also seemed like she was actively pressuring one nice young girl into sleeping with her boyfriend. Older women living vicariously through younger women can be one of the most destructive impulses.

    The church going men on the other hand actually seemed to have more shame. They may have been a little hard headed about it “I know it’s wrong but I’m doing it anyway”, but they seemed less proud of it.

  4. @Jack

    So, I will guess that the next “discussion of whores” will be about how Christian women are bigger whores than non-Christians…

    No, but greenmantlehoyos is on the right track.

  5. The weird thing to me is the lack of shame,not guilt, shame.

    It’s not a new problem:

    It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is intolerable even among pagans…And you are proud!

  6. Paul: Shouldn’t you rather have been stricken with grief

    No, our divorce rates are only 30%.

    Why are things so bad among Christians? Do you not know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?

  7. Back during the late middle ages when I was an undergrad at a state university, but attending church three times a week and trying to live the life of a professed Christian, I discovered an odd thing: Church girls, especially those who attended the same church as myself, would not give me the time of day, and most had “bad boy” boyfriends who were non-churchgoers. The non-churchgirls at the university, however, were MUCH friendlier to me… and it wasn’t because I was being a beta orbiter. One of the things that bemuses me most now is looking back on non-churchgirls I turned down for sex because I was holding out for my good Christian girl… who was out banging some rock band drummer. Maybe this has something to do with the lower rates of church attendance by men.
    Or maybe I should have just learned to play the drums.

  8. I dunno about greenmantle’s premise here. If we consider “shame” as “embarrassment at that which should be private being made public”, or the dictionary definition of “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” then it would seem to me that women do feel “shame” at sexual conduct.

    Women go to great lengths to conceal their illicit sexual conduct. Christian women especially do. They know what they’re doing contravenes their stated beliefs, yet do it anyway – hence their efforts to keep it quiet and on the downlow. They do this mostly by having sex with nonChristian men and other men away from their churches.

    I don’t think, based on what they do, that they feel “humiliation or distress”. They work to conceal their conduct from others so as to avoid that humiliation and distress. They are, however, “conscious” of their wrong and foolish behavior.

  9. @thedeti, that’s what I’m saying, is that these women I’ve met don’t. Not saying it’s all of them, I’m sure some even most do, but these women weren’t concealing their conduct. That’s why I was surprised, because their lack of concealment showed a lack of shame. The fact that it’s happening at all is weird, like seeing a nudist walking down main street.

  10. @thedeti

    I think you and greenmantlehoyos are talking about the same thing.

    This is the way of an adulteress:
    she eats and wipes her mouth
    and says, “I have done no wrong.”

  11. Cane

    I think we are talking about the same thing but seeing women respond/react differently.

    I’m sure you’ll flesh it out in the next posts.

  12. Deti,
    I think you are correct that church women will, as a whole, attempt to conceal at least the degree of their promiscuity. That being said, in your experience, who would be subjected to greater shame and humiliation by most churches: A young woman who engaged in sex before marriage, or a young man who publicly stated he would not marry a woman unless she was a virgin?
    Personally, my experience is that women with multiple bastards in tow, who have never been married, are welcomed more or less unconditionally; any man who suggests these women are not marriage material will be publicly shamed (in my previous church, not so much where I am now). I am talking about four women with two, three, three and FIVE little bastards in tow, and not a one of them married. I also had a good friend who is financially successful, well respected in his profession, actually made our city’s “most eligible bachelor” list in a major publication, and was shamed and left the church because he rejected the advances of a divorced woman…. Who had previously divorced her husband who was a member of that same church. I’m just ranting now, I know, but the list goes on….

  13. My guess: it’s a result of the doctrines of Calvinism, particularly eternal security/once-saved-always-saved as it’s understood and taught in many churches. I once had a pastor’s wife tell me that if you’re truly saved you won’t want to sin. So they are naïve about their own temptations.

  14. @ Bruce

    My guess: it’s a result of the doctrines of Calvinism, particularly eternal security/once-saved-always-saved as it’s understood and taught in many churches.

    I’d say it’s a perversion of the doctrines of Calvinism. Calvin taught that a person’s conduct is evidence of their election in Christ. The Puritans, after all, were Calvinists, and they were known for their strict moral standards.

    And, no, I’m not a Calvinist, but agree with Calvin – and more importantly, with Jesus – that a person’s conduct is evidence of their salvation.

  15. @Oscar, the Calvinists were quite scary in that regard, you were not merely in danger of losing your salvation, it meant you were never saved to begin with.

    Regarding whether once saved always saved leads to lackadaisical practice, perhaps it can, but it should also be noted that even if you do go to heaven guaranteed, it doesn’t mean God can’t punish you in the meantime, or even call you home early.

  16. @Bruce

    My guess: it’s a result of the doctrines of Calvinism, particularly eternal security/once-saved-always-saved as it’s understood and taught in many churches.

    It’s possible. It’s also possible that the Roman church’s doctrine of absolution encourages Roman Catholics to do whatever they want because those sins will be expunged next Saturday. But, I don’t buy it.

    Yet, as I typed the above it occurred to me that perhaps you are right if we are speaking of the beliefs of those around the sinner in question. “Why confront my daughter about behavior at college? She’s saved, and so she’ll get it eventually…”

  17. Conservative Christians have many proximate rationalisations for their various liberal stances (not restraining their children from fornicating, support for no-fault divorce, egalitarianism, etc.) But the ultimate reason and cause is that they serve the goddess Libertas. They are at least equally devoted to Libertas as to their Christian faith.

    Therefore, even though they are otherwise serious about their Christian faith and the Scriptures, they cannot but deny the parts that contradict their liberal commitments (examples abound). They’re not “real Christians”, they are at best half-Christians, because their faith is syncretic.

  18. That being said, in your experience, who would be subjected to greater shame and humiliation by most churches: A young woman who engaged in sex before marriage, or a young man who publicly stated he would not marry a woman unless she was a virgin?

    Quote of the Day here.

  19. It’s possible. It’s also possible that the Roman church’s doctrine of absolution encourages Roman Catholics to do whatever they want because those sins will be expunged next Saturday. But, I don’t buy it.

    Cane, I can tell you that there are definitely Catholics who believe they can do whatever they want and then confess it afterwards and be good. I have met them. They have flat out told me this. I, of course, corrected them about this- how they were in fact committing a whole different level of sin with Presumption. Mostly fell on deaf ears.

    All the same, I think that there have always been Christians who have taken our salvation for granted- who abuse the incredible gift that was our Lord’s sacrifice on Calvary. The Letter to the Hebrews addresses this.

  20. @donalgraeme

    Cane, I can tell you that there are definitely Catholics who believe they can do whatever they want and then confess it afterwards and be good.

    Yes, I don’t doubt you; and I know there are Protestants who abuse their doctrine of once-saved-always-saved. However, I don’t believe either of these doctrines tempt Christians to sin, or confuse us on how we are supposed to behave.

  21. The biggest contributing factor is that at the current time, when the temptations to fornicate are the greatest, the church is at its weakest in rebuking the sin. That directly stems from a failure in church leadership.

    Those church leaders who call for men to embrace their duties and ‘man up’ are some of the biggest failures at their own duties, which is to shepherd their flocks.

  22. Cane,

    That wasn’t necessarily an anti-Calvinist or pro-Catholic comment – one of two acceptable Catholic understandings of predestination (Augustine/Aquinas) is barely distinguishable from Calvinism.

    You are correct that many Catholics abuse God’s mercy with the sin of presumption and the attitude that you can just go to confession afterward (the main problem though is that most Catholics don’t even bother going to confession).

    My point was about common attitudes I see in Calvinist-influenced Baptists (the predominant conservative Christian where I live). They teach eternal security for the elect and seem to explain sin among the elect in two different ways:
    1. If you are truly saved you won’t want to sin (this doesn’t fit with observed reality in Churches so presumably sins committed by the elect aren’t willful?).
    2. God frequently allows the elect to fall into grave sin to chastise them.

    I don’t think “eternal security” is a temptation to sin so much as a way to rationalize what we want to do (sin) in some cases.

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