On Axe Biting

What’s the Question?

In Dalrock’s latest post, the comments brought forth a question.

BY THE WAY: You should know that I write in vulgar terms because this is a vulgar era. Complaints will be disregarded.

It developed from the observation that men are due sex in a marriage, and how important sex is for a man to be connected to his wife. Women are due this, too, but that complaint is rarely heard in our ‘sphere–because that’s not the problem we’re faced with. This led to a discussion on the “double-standard” concerning how the number of men a woman sleeps with makes her a slut; as it relates to

Any number (N) of sexual partners above 1 (excepting any circumstance such as being widowed) will result in–at least–a temporary label of SLUT (N > 1 = SLUT),

but how the reverse is not true. The going wisdom of the Manosphere says, that some number above 1 theoretically exists for the man, but the state of slut lacks consequence for him. This is attributed to various inherent evolved priorities, and risks to men, concerning female chastity. Women, being different–and they are!–,will tend to focus on whether the man has the wherewithal to protect the family she makes with him. So an N well over 1 might be a display of risk that he might leave. This is all, of course, related back to evolutionary principles about how our apeman/caveman forebears were rightfully concerned about caring for offspring; making sure their his offspring; making sure he can protect them; etc.*

Several of the men held forth in this manner; making the otherwise logical connection that women who refused to accept the principles of the equation (N > 1 = SLUT), or acted in defiance of it, were doing so out of a base desire to ape men. This is logical because so many modern women are imitating men, in increasingly any area they covet; no matter how unfruitful these imitations may be. The effect of these statements on the women that frequent the blog was engrossing.

Woman 1 put forth the sadly typical answer that I’ll paraphrase as: “There is no standard. Men and women are equal, and should pinky-swear to go halvsies on everything–including desire, sex, ignorance of sexual history, and other chores.”

Woman 2 gave a defense of the Manospherian concept. She started out fairly well (by the wisdom) and acknowledged that women howl at the “double-standard” because to recognize any standard whatsoever is to accept that virtually all modern women are , or have been, sluts. Not an easy thing to contemplate, for sluts, former sluts, or their husbands.

She didn’t think so either. Her next comments were about how they’d risen above all that. Her husband had slept with numerous women and she has an N >;; 1. Nevertheless, he was her best, and he had settled on her. Obviously she must be his best. With the exception of a couple minor hiccups that are nothing but faded memories: their glue is great!

Woman 3, the one I want to write about, could see something was missing from the discussion. She detected it early on in the thread, but was having trouble putting it to words in a way that most of the commenters could either understand…or accept. Her comments were–taken in all–iterations of a couple questions that I’ll paraphrase first as two questions:

1) Why do men seem to only want sex and chores (food, laundry, etc.) from a woman, in marriage?

2) If sex and chores are what men get out of marriage, then what do women get; given that men and women are different, and especially given a relatively non-violent (not much need for personal protection) dual-income society?

The consolidated question: Where is my Oneitis?

The Answer: Oneitis is for Pussies.

I’ve never seen in the Manosphere where Oneitis is openly held in esteem. It’s a term of derision. The best expression is by Roissy (NSFW):

Oneitis is a disease of the amygdala that presents as a total incapacitation of the man’s logic, reason and interest in hobbies, hygiene and restful sleep. Oneitis exists in two forms, a precoital and postcoital expression of the virus. The precoital, or “#1 crush”, form occurs when two conditions are met: A girl possesses a precise beauty of the face that closely matches the beauty template the man carries in his head for the perfect woman, and this girl is within the man’s visual and aural field. The postcoital, or “no girl will ever be as good as her”, form occurs when the same conditions are met, with the additional factor that the man has boffed the girl and is now not boffing her.

This is the inverse of the rationale for women keeping their virginity until marriage: Why men should remain chaste. Men know this, and fear it. What if he goes without sex forever? The Game approach to overcoming that fear is to confront it; to bash it down by repeatedly banging ever hotter women until there is no standard left…just like Feminists and Buddhists (the one cool religion left).

If you read the whole post, he goes on to deal with only the post-coital form of Oneitis (which is interesting in itself), and his prescription is: Go Fuck Ten Other Hotter Women. He then spreads a more realistic roadmap of what this regimen will look like: Refrain from chasing women for a period; Pursue only women of better looks than the ex-woman; build them up in your mind; then bang them. Repeat.

The Full Answer: Oneitis is for Your Wife’s Pussy

Sex is not the glue that keeps a man and woman together. Sex is the wife’s one half of the compound which–when mixed with the husband’s half of the compound–forms an epoxy that holds a marriage together. His half is called emotional commitment–Oneitis. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

This is what Roissy is so good at: His post makes nonsense of the rationalizations of Woman 1 and Woman 2. That is, women who, as exploiters of the mind-field** known as the sexual marketplace, screwed their way into a position that is ludicrous to believe is sustainable; that husbands would–or could!–find such women suitable as permanent helpmeets. Only Woman 3 is confronting this, and she’s been ridiculed up and down for it. Roissy doesn’t give a cure for current-coital Oneitis because it’s not an affliction. Post-coital and pre-coital Oneitis aren’t viruses; they’re sexual disorders caused by one of two conditions:

Condition 1: Men slutting themselves out emotionally to women they had no business giving it to. If he’s not married to her, she doesn’t deserve it. And there’s no getting around that sex will do this to a man whether he likes it or not.*** Whoever that first woman is she is the hottest woman to ever have sex with him, and she will milk that emotional commitment from him as surely as her body milks his. This state continues until someone out-milks her, or he reaches the Zen-like state of no attachment.

Just so we’re clear: For a Christian, Zen is bad. For a Christian man who wants to be, or is, married: No attachment is bad. His marriage risks becoming unstuck because he has mixed the epoxies; layering over the same territory each time; each time committing less of his half of the compound. Eventually, he’ll have caked-on so much epoxy that he might be better described as married to his memories; each grey layer indistinguishable from the next, but never cementing to his wife. It is hard work chipping that off, and starting over. He might not even want to. The memories can be pleasing, in a disordered, corrupt way. In the meantime, he can still play house.

Condition 2: When a woman rejects sex with her man. This particular form of post-coital Oneitis is despicable because it was explicitly inflicted on the man. Wives: Do not stop having sex with your husband if you want to stay married. Husbands: If you’re wife is refusing you then she’s telling you she wants a divorce…though a man may have to explain this to her, as she’s too busy rationalizing why she’s emotionally abusing her husband to realize it. Most husbands cannot remain under this affliction too long. He’ll either withdraw so much as to be nearly useless, or he’ll start making epoxy with someone else.

The purpose of the Sex/Oneitis epoxy is to foster an environment where the man and wife become one. This occurs when her sex draws out of him his emotional commitment, which draws him in further until he’s penetrating all aspects of her life, and gives she gives joy to all aspects of his. She does housework to give him a pleasing environment, and not because she’s anal retentive. He gets involved with choosing the homeschooling curriculum to relieve his wife of the burden of fearing the wrong choice, not because he thinks he’s so smart. This is a lifelong process. Sex and emotional commitment should be, too.

No One Says This?

That’s not quite true: here, here, and here you can find Manosphere-authorized examples of the phenomenon described as Oneitis; though none of them refer to it by name. No doubt there are others, but those are the ones I know about. You should go read them.


*That in itself is fascinating since the best Game technicians demure from children. What happened to their code? How could these genetic giants gain so much insight from studying evolution, but MISS OUT on the code that tells them to have kids? If you can’t trust the code, who can you trust?


***With the exception of men who truly emulate the Dark Triad traits.

Cane Reads the YSV Bible: 1 Samuel 17

This is the beginning of a new series: Cane Reads the Y(our) S(tandard) V(ersion) Bible.


Now the Feminists gathered their armies for battle. And they were gathered at WordPress, which is on the Internet, and encamped between WordPress and BlogSpot, in Cyber-Space. 2And Vox and the men of Christendom were gathered, and encamped in the Manosphere, and drew up in line of battle against the Feminists3And the Feminists stood on the mountain on the one side, and Christendom stood on the mountain on the other side, with a valley between them. 4And there came out from the camp of the Feminists a champion named Roissy of Chateau Heartiste, whose bed held six sluts and a model5He had a helmet of the Ignorance of Beauty on his head, and he was armed with a coat of seduction, and the weight of the Frame was two chicks at the same time.

And he had bronze Frame on his legs, and a javelin of Evolutionary Psychology slung between his shoulders. The shaft of his Intellect was like a weaver’s beam, and his spear’s head had weighed six hundred vaginas. And Irrational Confidence born by Church Apathy went before him. He stood and shouted to the ranks of Christendom, “Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Am I not a Hedonist, and are you not servants of Vox? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us.” 10 And the Hedonist said, “I defy the ranks of Christendom this day. Give me a man, that we may fight together.” 11 When Vox and all Christendom heard these words of the Hedonist, they were impressed.

Now Cane was the blog-son of a blogger of a Christian part of the Manosphere, named Dalrock, who had many commenters. In the days of Vox the man was already a hit and advanced in posts13 The three oldest blog-sons of Dalrock had followed Vox to the battle. And the names of his three blog-sons who went to the battle were Ashur, the wittiest, and next to him Deti, and the third Brendan14  Cane was the youngest. The three eldest followed Vox15 but Cane went back and forth from Vox to feed his father’s sheep in the Manosphere16 For forty days the Hedonist came forward and took his stand, morning and evening.

17 And Dalrock said to Cane his son, “Would you be interested in writing a guest post making your case instead of defending it piecemeal here? See if your brothers are well, and bring some token from them.”

19 Now Vox and they and all the men of Christendom were in the Manosphere, fighting with the Feminists20 And Cane rose early in the morning and left the sheep with a keeper and took the provisions and went, as Dalrock had commanded him. And he came to the encampment as the host was going out to the battle line, shouting the war cry. 21 And Christendom and the Feminists drew up for battle, army against army. 22 And Cane left the things in charge of the keeper of the baggage and ran to the ranks and went and greeted his brothers. 23 As he blathered on about The Matrix, behold, the champion, the Hedonist of Chateau Heartiste, Roissy by name, came up out of the ranks of the Feminists and spoke the same words as before. And Cane heard him.

24 All the men of Christendom, when they saw the man, fled from him and were much afraid. 25 And the men of Christendom said, “Have you seen this man who has come up? Surely he has come up to defy Christendom. And the king will enrich the man who kills him with great riches and will give him his daughter and make his father’s house free in Christendom.” 26 And Cane said to the men who stood by him, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Hedonist and takes away the reproach from Christendom? For who is this uncircumcised Hedonist, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” 27 And the people answered him in the same way, “So shall it be done to the man who kills him.”

28 Now Ashur his eldest brother heard when he spoke to the men. And Ashur’s anger was kindled against Cane, and he said, “You have a problem with wiles? I get it – you have an axe to grind, don’t we all. You also don’t seem to realize that trying to “prove” something on the internet is something no one should ever attempt. At the root of it, you long for a victory, you desire to taste the visceral thrill of a bold internet triumph.” 2And Cane said, “Don’t mistake my fervor for the topic for a generic desire for victory. I confess to being over-eager–I’ve been musing on this for literally years, and I’ve been hyper-focused on it for the past week.Was it not but a blog post?” 30 And he turned away from him toward another, and spoke in the same way, and the people answered him again as before.

31 When the words that Cane spoke were heard, they repeated them before Vox, at AlphaGamePlan, and he sent for him. 32 And Cane said to Vox, “Let no man’s heart fail because of him. Your servant will go and fight with this Hedonist.” 33 And Vox said to Cane, Game is not a lifestyle or a philosophy, it is nothing more than an analytical tool, moreover, it is a tool that can be broadly applied to a broad spectrum of human behavior. Cane isn’t looking deeply enough, he is too focused on the particulars of what Roissy is advising to understand what Roissy is doing. 34 But Cane said to Vox, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, 35 I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him. 36 Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Hedonist shall be like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God.” 37 And Cane said, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Hedonist.” And Vox said to Cane, “Go,and the Lord be with you!”

38 Then Vox clothed Cane with his Frame. He put a helmet of Ignorance of Beauty on his head and clothed him with a coat of seduction39 and Cane strapped his Game over his Frame. And he tried in vain to go, for he had not tested them. Then Cane said to Vox, “I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.” So Cane put them off. 40 Then he took his discipline in his hand and chose five verses from the Book and put them in his laptop. His conviction was in his hand, and he approached the Hedonist.

41 And the Hedonist moved forward and came near to Cane, with Church Apathy bearing his Irrational Confidence in front of him. 42 And when the Hedonist looked and saw Cane, he disdained him, for he was but a commenterbeta and churchian in appearance. 43 And the Hedonist said to Cane, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” And the Hedonist cursed Cane by his god of biomechanics44 The Hedonist said to Cane, “Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.” 45 Then Cane said to the Hedonist, “You come to me with Game and with Intellect and with Evolutionary Psychology, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Christendom, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Feminists this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Christendom47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with Game and Intellect. For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.”

48 When the Hedonist arose and came and drew near to meet Cane, Cane ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Hedonist49 And Cane put his hand to his laptop and took out a verse and slung it and struck the Hedonist on his forehead. The verse sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.

50 So Cane prevailed over the Hedonist with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Hedonist and killed him. There was no Game in the hand of Cane51 Then Cane ran and stood over the Hedonist and took his Game and drew it out of its sheath and killed him and cut off his head with it. When the Feminists saw that their champion was dead, they fled. 52 And the men of Christendom and the Manosphere rose with a shout and pursued the Feminists as far as Chateau Heartiste and the gates of UMan, so that the wounded Feminists fell on the way from The Society of Phineas as far as Chateau Heartiste and UMan.53 And the people of Christendom came back from chasing the Feminists, and they plundered their camp. 54 And Cane took the head of the Hedonist and brought it to Texas, but he put his Frame in his blog.

55 As soon as Vox saw Cane go out against the Hedonist, he said to Keoni, the commander of the army, “Keoni, whose blog-son is this youth?” And Keoni said, “As your soul lives, O king, I do not know.” 56 And the king said, “Inquire whose blog-son the boy is.” 57 And as soon as Cane returned from the striking down of the Hedonist, Keoni took him, and brought him before Vox with the head of the Hedonist in his hand. 58 And Vox said to him, “Whose son are you, young man?” And Cane answered, “I am the blog-son of your servant Dalrock the Manospherian.”


Now if it strikes you that I have must have Irrational Confidence to write myself into this position, that just means you’ve missed the point. Besides, it’s in my tent–with all the other armor. This post was born of an email to a friend, and in the middle (it took quite awhile to do this. My own words are easier.) another friend made the comment that my advice leaves men defenseless. That just means he’s missed the point of the Real Story.

And if it bothers you that I’ve camped PUAs in with the Feminists, then you don’t understand that it is the state that lends women from its harem, for use in the harems of others.


Update: Free Northerner tackled this scripture well, here.