The Bewitching Rudeness of Magic!

Under my post Katy Perry Puts the Fun in Funeral, Elspeth asked if I would check out a song called Rude, by the band “Magic!”. I had forgotten, but yesterday she put in another request for me to crush it. Here are the remains.

Saturday morning jumped out of bed

The opening shot is a young man and a young woman frolicking on a bed in their sleepwear. They’re silly in that in-love kind of way. Now, I don’t want to give away anything too soon, but in just a bit the song will inform us those two are not married. It’s Saturday morning, their on his bed, and their in pajamas. They’re fornicating, and loving it. It’s presented as a happy and joyful time full of Magic!; just like the band’s name.
And put on my best suit
His best suit is sculpted crap. It’s a leather jacket, a raggedy tee shirt, black jeans, and what appear to be black ballet shoes. He’s not bearded, yet also unshaven. His hair hasn’t seen a comb in days; scissors for years. Best suits are supposed to reflect respect for the other person, and for the event. His best suit is carefully premeditated nonchalance to let everyone know he doesn’t give a damn about anybody else. Sociopathy is his best suit.
Got in my car and raced like a jet
All the way to you
We see that he’s a pack animal when he and his friends emerge from a run-down den of a house. There are multiple broken windows on the garage door; none even covered up, or even had the hanging debris taken down. It’s an important part of the house, too. It’s where he and his friends perform their music, which means there is a lot of expensive equipment that could get stolen, or ruined by water damage. His living place is sociopathic, state just as his clothes are. His car is an uncared-for junker, too.
In fact, now that we see fuller picture of his life: His best anything is the same as he does everything: nothing. The word “best” means absolutely nothing to this sociopath. Or, perhaps it better said that, to him, “Best” means whatever he wants it to mean. Some readers might be inclined think that I’m being unfair to a poor struggling artist who cannot afford much. Those readers are failing to grapple with the fact that he makes no effort to improve his situation. Poverty is not an excuse for a dirty car, empty broken windows, ratty clothes, poor hygiene, and pack of ne’er-do-wells when you’re going to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage. Money has very little to do with it. We don’t even do bride-prices anymore.
Knocked on your door with heart in my hand
To ask you a question
‘Cause I know that you’re an old-fashioned man, yeah
His recognition that her father has standards is important. It shows that (contrary to his assertion) the man has every intention to show disrespect to her father.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes ’cause I need to know
You say I’ll never get your blessing ’til the day I die
Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is ‘No’

Which is exactly what the young man dared the father to say with his whole approach. It’s what he wanted.

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I’m gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
Yeah, no matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we’ll be a family
Why you gotta be so
Rude

During the chorus the sociopath dances around like an eight-year old girl while his loser friends jam out. What is cute in a preteen girl is revolting in a young man.

When I call his friends losers, I mean it in two senses. Obviously according to the standards I’ve used in this post they are losers, but they are also the stooges of the sociopath. They are single. He is not. They are in the background. He is not. He has a car. They do not. They look like doofuses. He does not. When he returns from his challenge in faux dejection, the stooges give him a group-hug. It’s supposed to be spontaneous and cute, but it comes across as contrived and gay.

From there it’s basically a repeat. He keeps acting like a sociopath while daring her father to marry them, and the father never changed his mind. Meanwhile, the girls listening out there in radio land are bewitched into preferring sociopaths as “true loves”; which they are already inclined to do by their sin nature. and chicks love it. Young women love the idea of telling Dad off and having a “really good reason” to do so; wishing for a legitimate reason to assert their independence.

The rest of the lyrics are unnecessary to parse, but there are some scenes worth it. In one, the father invites over a Beta respectable young man for the woman to consider, but she can’t stop texting the sociopath long enough to get to know him. Texting at the table is rude and sociopathic, but is again presented as being “true to love”. At one point the father offers a toast, and the daughter refuses to participate; instead offering a derisive curl of the lip. That’s also rude, by the way.

There’s another scene where we see the father trying to talk to the daughter like an adult. Well, she won’t stand for that. In the middle of his exercise in patience she flounces off in a huff, goes up to her room, puts on some skanky outfit, and runs out the door; presumably to fornicate with the sociopath some more. The Magic! of rudeness.

Then there’s the obligatory mocking of our parent’s weddings by dressing “ironically” in a ill-fitted tux and sock hat with an improperly tied bow-tie. She’s in a white wedding gown that shows off a huge slutterfly tattoo on her shoulder. The father, unmoved, turns him down again and the wedding party happily dances off without the parents; a celebration of a mission accomplished.

It is anathema for the sociopath to ask the father what he can do to win approval. If he did, the daughter would probably lose interest as she purposefully chose to date a sociopath. The whole song is an inversion of truth: It is the sociopath who is rude, and trying to destroy love. It’s not a song about how much a young man loves a young woman. It’s a fantasy of telling fathers to go to Hell smuggled into a song about “the power of true love” and abusing the sanctity of marriage and family to do it.

Tah-dah! Magic!