A Trebling Delay

Novaseeker’s comment here reminded me of something I said recently, and I need to get a post out.

I noted to a friend recently that as a society we look totally wrong at the delay in marriage. If a woman is biologically capable of bearing children around 15, and if her fertility and ability to complete pregnancy starts to fall off around 30, then they only have about 15 reliable years.

We aren’t pushing marriage out a few years as if it was a fraction of time, but increasing it by orders of magnitude. For millennia, until the modern era, women often first married[1] in their teens. In the later 20th Century, marriage after college became the prescription. That is a delay of 7 years already: almost half of the 15 available. A woman who waits until 30 may be out of time. If she wants multiple children she takes a great risk. Delaying just a few years after age of majority (18) is not a great idea. It is a terrible idea to delay it to 25. A determined pause until 30 is insane.

Unless, of course, your goals are short-term pleasure, dishonoring your (future) husband, and the self-satisfaction of telling everyone, “They don’t know you”–which is the dominant message everyone signals to women.

[1] Widowhood was common.

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14 thoughts on “A Trebling Delay

  1. Pingback: Percentage of U.S. women never married, by age, 1980 & 2015 | Dalrock

  2. Even worse, the modern Christian response to this trend has been to repackage the feminist message that women should delay marriage as coming from God. When feminists tell women to delay marriage, they at least grudgingly acknowledge that the clock is ticking. But Christians have made never settle gospel. As CBN founder and chancellor and CEO of Regent University Pat Robertson explains:

    I’m holding in my hand a very special book. It’s a book that every young girl should have. Teenagers should have it, college students should have it, and young single women should have it. It’s called You are a prize to be won. Written by none other than the lovely Wendy Griffith, and she has had all kinds of experiences!

    Wendy Griffith is the role model young Christian women are told to emulate when it comes to finding a husband. Griffith is 53 and still looking for a husband. But, she has had lots of experiences!

  3. Although I am a believer and value our (European) religious traditions, stuff like this is why I don’t trust organised religion. First they tell women “never settle, be empowered, never be judged, etc etc etc…”, then they say those same gospels command us to love the stranger and support massive 3rd world immigration. After all, they remind us, since our own women have so few children, we have to import the 3rd world here for economic reasons alone, let alone the moral imperative. Catholic charities in the city where I live is notorious for aggressively pushing for more and more refugee resettlement here. Heaven forbid if our own women would just settle down somewhere (early) in that 15 year window and have a few kids.

  4. “Unless, of course, your goals are short-term pleasure, dishonoring your (future) husband, and the self-satisfaction of telling everyone, “They don’t know you”–which is the dominant message everyone signals to women.”

    This makes a clear parallel with Christianity. Our mortal life is our “youth” during which we can either live for Beta God or Alpha devils. When the spiritual equivalent of menopause hits, however, the consequences won’t be dismissed by test tube Frankenscience.

  5. Pingback: Percentage of U.S. women never married, by age, 1980 & 2015 - Top

  6. Jay, I believe that those Biblical teachings you mentioned are intended for people to use within their interpersonal relationships with others. They are not intended to be used to form mass policies (National, organizational, etc.). But when it does become a mass policy, then the individual is greatly pressured to respond in kind. The problem with this is that the individuals in the society, organization, etc. pay the cost, not the government, nor those in decision-making power. Worst of all for the case of the gospel, the power of grace is erased from those spiritually obedient gestures, because it then becomes a law, requirement, obligation, etc. In a word, the authorities become “Overbearing”.
    Anyway, I do agree with the general sentiment of your comment. Organized religion tends to be a part of this evil world.

  7. I’m assuming this means you are against/not entirely supportive of the modern age of consent laws?

    With respect, is age of consent discussions allowed in this blog?

  8. @White

    I’m assuming this means you are against/not entirely supportive of the modern age of consent laws?

    I’m perfectly content with the age of consent laws where I live. The impediments to good society, as it concerns marriage, are not primarily from the law or courts, but from families.

    With respect, is age of consent discussions allowed in this blog?

    No. In addition to my contentment, there are too many weirdos on the Internet that I’d rather not bother to filter.

  9. Ok, but surely the legal minimum age of *marriage* (which tends to be higher than AoC for some reason) has to be a Christian issue, right?

    For instance, AoC where I live is 16 but minimum legal AoM is 21, few exceptions. When the age 21 law first passed here some Christians protested but we were labelled “paedophiles” and “weirdos”. Non-Christians don’t care because the 16 number is all that matters to them.

    I must say, being relatively new to the Christian manosphere I am shocked at the vitriol/indifference to this topic. It’s clear the Enemy’s intentions in this (and what feminists are trying to do here)

    Nonetheless, this is your blog and I fully respect your wishes. Perhaps there are ungodly weirdos this part of the internet I’m yet to be aware of… Or perhaps I’m the weirdo here.

  10. Something happened and a few generations, probably including mine, are “getting lost” when it comes to marriage. There are those who say that “the family is the most basic building block of society” and, while I tend to disagree and instead say that it is the altar, chances are there is something to this adage; therefore a raised age of marriage should be further investigated. Why do certain people elevate “credentialed” women—those with post-highschool degrees—so highly?

    Apparently half of the American population gets those advanced degrees and more than half of all college students are women—which tells you all you need to know… Meanwhile, women don’t seem so concerned about being the “glue” of society any more, and clothing repair (shoes that can be cobbled are expensive) and cooking proficiencies are more and more outsourced to foreigners if they’re even still available… When it comes to knowing the academic things like cultural history, who really wants to marry a woman who already knows all of it? It’s nice to watch women learn—and that woman could be your wife—rather than having her carry round her diploma saying she already knows… Plus, women love to discover culture, so even if you give her a certificate it will hardly mean much because she’s probably perpetually interested in going farther and farther (so why doesn’t her husband or close, blood relatives guide her in a loving way, if he or they have time?). Commodified education is much less applicable to their sex; and it makes them boring.

  11. There could be a problem from lack of Christian courts, and since the Federal State monopolises so many of municipial, commonwealth and federal courts, Christians need extra-judicial courts like other religions have. Maybe have them oversee Christian schools and decide which students should qualify for scholarships there, maybe have them reviewing catechisms and conversions, as well as setting standards for modesty (believe it or not, even secular people want dress codes in places like their favourite restaurants).

    Sounds like a lot, right? But indeed a lot needs to be done and Christians should not try to struggle through it without community support.

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