One last post on another area of our lives where we don’t even begin to plumb the wrongness. Then, for my disposition, I have to take a break from that subject.
I saw a post the other day lamenting a version of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” performed by Lady Gaga and Joseph Gordon Levitt. In the original (and most versions) the female is trying to make her excuse to leave a man’s house (The case could be made that she’s trying to leave a party, but the song is quiet and intimate. It doesn’t jive.), while the male voice tempts her to stay; mostly by saying, “Baby, it’s cold outside.” In this new version with LG and JGL they swap the roles and it is the female trying to tempt the man to stay. The case was made, at that blog, that this was a sign of how far we’d fallen as a society, and that the original arrangement is the better, conservative, choice.
Just to be sure we have this straight in our minds: A Christmas song about an unmarried man trying to talk an unmarried woman into staying at his residence alone and past the acceptable time is the “good and conservative” version of events? She says right in the song that her mother will be worried, her father will be pacing the floor, and even her brother is waiting at the door; sick with worry. Well, my good conservative friends: Fret not! At the end of the song: She stays!
What’s ironic is that the Lady Gaga version is much more likely to occur. That’s my experience. Not only that, when we see remonstrations in scripture to avoid fornication and adultery, it says things like this:
For at the window of my house
I looked through my casement,
7 and beheld among the simple ones,
I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
8 passing through the street near her corner;
and he went the way to her house,
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
in the black and dark night:
10 and, behold, there met him a woman
with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
11 (She is loud and stubborn;
her feet abide not in her house:
12 now is she without, now in the streets,
and lieth in wait at every corner.)
13 So she caught him, and kissed him,
and with an impudent face said unto him,
14 I have peace offerings with me;
this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee,
diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry,
with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning:
let us solace ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home,
he is gone a long journey:
20 he hath taken a bag of money with him,
and will come home at the day appointed.
21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield,
with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
22 He goeth after her straightway,
as an ox goeth to the slaughter,
or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
23 till a dart strike through his liver;
as a bird hasteth to the snare,
and knoweth not that it is for his life.
That’s in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, even when being warned about wayward men, we see this same paradigm of the man in the woman’s house.
3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. 9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
Whether she is the temptress, or he is the interloper, the most common way this goes down is at the woman’s residence.
I do have some questions, though: What are we hoping happens in the good old-fashioned version? Are we satisfied with a paltry dose of disobedience towards her father? It seems maybe some payoff is in order: They definitely need to neck, and I don’t think a bit of slap-n-tickle would go amiss in this cozy situation. It’s not as if they have to have actual sex–maybe we hope she just gives him a blowjob, and then returns to press her brother’s cheek, kiss her father with those lips, and tell him everything is fine. Sounds charming, doesn’t it!
The good old-fashioned version of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” wrought Lady Gaga; brought down the feminist monster on our heads. Wake up!
14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. 15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19 speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
What we praise and what we entertain in our minds–redeeming the time–has always been linked to the state of our marriages. We cannot conduct ourselves as the world does, and then hope everything is fine after our weddings.