Sacred Cowgirls

In yesterday’s post on Passion Conference 2015, I left one observation out of the list of bullet points:

• None of the women I observed wore a dress or a skirt.

I did not see all of the thousands in attendance, but–of the many hundreds who came into my field of view–zero of them wore the traditional garments of a woman of the West.[1] That brought to mind a tidbit I have been meaning to share.

Last year, about this time, I took the opportunity to work at the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. While not as large as the Houston Stock Show and Rodeo, it is still a national event. I met people from Minnesota, Montana, California, Colorado, Missouri, Virginia, Kentucky, the Carolinas, the Dakotas…every state with a large agricultural industry.

It must be understood that a stock show and rodeo is a fundamentally conservative occasion, and it selects for those of a conservative frame of mind. Each rodeo event opens with a prayer to God and the National Anthem; which are delivered without apology. There is about them an air of aggressiveness; a daring against modern impiety.[2] The flag of America (and Texas) features often and prominently in clothes, accessories, and advertising. And there are Christian crosses everywhere. Of course, because this is an event centered on rural livelihoods and activities, everyone is wearing cowboy hats, boots, and jeans. Everyone.

A couple days into the event I realized that I had not noticed a single woman in a skirt. I began to keep count. At the end of six to eight hours a day, three to four days a week, for three weeks: I counted a total of six women in a skirt or dress. It must be concluded that conservative, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, goodly-folk in flyover states have zero interest in conserving women’s attire.

Naturally, the women still want to be set apart from the men who are in the exact same attire. I saw lots of yoga pants and leggings. The haut-couture of women’s bottoms were these pajama-like pants worn over cowboy boots. These have the advantage of clinging to the butt and thigh, but hanging loose over the boot upper.

But the most common way of affecting a difference in dress from their male conservative counterparts was for women to wear jeans with rhinestones pasted on the seat. There were as many sparkly designs on butts as there are women, and more available in booths. It must be said that there can be no reason for sparkles on an ass except to call attention to the ass; which is immodest, exhibitionist, and ungodly.

Yet one of the common sparkly ass designs were rhinestone crosses.

[1] Now that I think about it, clothing of wraps like dresses, skirts, and gowns are the traditional garments of women across the globe and history.

[2] At least against their conception of modern impiety, anyways.